#mydreamfestival is a feature in which we ask our readers and contributors to curate their dream festival line-up through four, unique categories: big headliner, promising newcomer, amazing DJ, curveball.
Festivals; the perfect way to spend hundreds of pounds on lukewarm beer and fried food only to miss all of your favourite bands because you drank too much of the aforementioned lukewarm beer. It happens to the best of us. One minute you’re waiting to see Beyonce, the next you’re vomiting at a velocity you didn’t think was humanly possible in front of hundreds of people. Well, not at my festival. The beer is cold and the food, well, it’s still fried because fried food is delicious but regardless, everything is GREAT.
KE$HA – I am aware that I could have picked literally any artist. Literally anyone. The truth is I don’t care what you think. Ke$ha is a dirty, glittery hot mess and it’s FUN. Basically, she is your drunk best friend at a house party. Who has probably just broke up with her boyfriend and is ‘letting it all out’. Whatever that means. Anyway, Ke$ha has confetti canons and lasers and stuff so who needs musical integrity when you can sing a song about brushing your teeth with alcohol. Right?
ALLAN KINGDOM – Trying to salvage any credibility back after admitting to really liking Ke$ha, I present to you – Allan Kingdom. Kanye fans may recognise his name after he featured on ‘All Day’ and I am sure Mr.Kingdom is about to blow up any minute now. He’s collaborated with Spooky Black in the past and is one quarter of rap group The Stand4rd. His set would be perfect to get your grind on to – or maybe you’d rather jump up and down like you’re 8 years old and at a school disco. Whatever. I can’t judge. I am a Ke$ha fan.
CAPTAIN BEEFHART & HIS MAGIC BAND – Pure, unadulterated 1960s psychedelic rock. Absolutely what you want to listen to whilst swagging about in those paisley print flares you just bought from a stall also selling ‘incense’ and ‘healing’ crystals. The band were signed to Frank Zappa’s label, with both John Lennon and Paul McCartney among their admirers. Those men can’t be wrong, and if you think they are, I’ll eat my paisley print flares (but not really because I love them like they are my own children).
HORSE MEAT DISCO – What better way to spend the wee hours than boogying to tasty, delicious disco. Those flares would definitely come in handy. Horse Meat Disco host an infamous night at Eagle in London and regularly do nights in Glasgow too. It’s sweaty, hip-shaking, 70s goodness. Ending the festival swinging around on a giant glitter ball whilst Horse Meat Disco churn out some classics is the only way to do it.
Eilidh is a disco aficionado and can work out the right change she should get on the bus really, really quickly. She has a ranking of the best burgers she has eaten and wears a Fjallraven Kanken Classic Backpack around Glasgow (the greatest city in the world). She often spends her time writing short biographies in the third person and must admit that this isn’t her finest work. She hopes that the next short biography she writes will be more informative.
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